Forgiveness is a concept many of us think we understand: letting go of hurt, anger, or the desire for revenge. Typically, it involves choosing to either re-establish a relationship with certain boundaries or to forgive and part ways entirely. However, my understanding of forgiveness shifted significantly after reflecting on a specific Scripture passage.

A New Perspective on Forgiveness

Matthew 18:15-17 (AMP) says:

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens and pays attention to you, you have won back your brother. But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two others, so that every word may be confirmed by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he pays no attention to them [refusing to listen and obey], tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile (unbeliever) and a tax collector.”

This passage made me realize that forgiveness is not merely about letting go—it’s also about restoration. True forgiveness, Christ’s way, involves actively seeking to reconcile with the person who has wronged us, provided we follow the process outlined in Scripture.

Forgiveness Within Relationships

As the eldest in my family, I often forgive my siblings for various offenses. Reflecting on this, I saw that I never considered any sin unforgivable in those relationships. However, when it came to others, I noticed a double standard.

Christ’s example of forgiveness in John 21:15-18 further challenged me. After Peter’s betrayal during Jesus’ most vulnerable time, Jesus didn’t just forgive him; He restored Peter and entrusted him with the responsibility of leading His church.

If I were in Jesus’ position, betrayed by someone close to me in my darkest hour—someone who had witnessed my efforts, teachings, and miracles—would I have been able to forgive and restore them? Jesus’ response to Peter’s failure reveals the depth of His grace and the power of forgiveness.

Reflection and Prayer

This realization prompted me to examine my own life. I started reviewing the “blocked” list of people I’ve shut out, wondering if some were meant to remain in my life. Had I sought God’s will during my lowest moments, perhaps I would have chosen to restore some relationships rather than sever them entirely.

Forgiveness is not just a release of negative feelings; it’s a call to trust God and seek His guidance in restoring broken relationships.

Advice for Forgiveness

As I reflect on this, I encourage you to:

1. Pray and seek God’s wisdom in all circumstances (Psalm 62:8).

2. Trust that He can bring good from every situation (Romans 8:28).

3. Approach forgiveness not only with the intent to release but also with the intent to restore, where possible.

May we strive to forgive as Christ forgave, trusting Him to guide us in love and wisdom.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5